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About Varied / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Danielle ReedFemale/United States Group :iconkelacao: Kelacao
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Journal Entry: Sun Mar 15, 2015, 1:47 AM


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Lately I've not been myself so much as I was months ago and I have been slowly descending down a road of depression.  Now, before the sirens start to call, I am not clinically depressed or wanting to commit any form of self harm.  It's more of a situational depression as my counselor described it.  Relentless family issues, homework stresses, fleeting images of future goals, the questioning of the pieces that make me whole, diminishing self esteem, all those things.  For a while I've been in these situations, but knowing my time to graduate is nigh, I can't bear the thought of never seeing my teachers and fellow classmates as much anymore.  The school I've been going to for as long as I remember has treated me well and still is.  The staff are reassuring and kind, and the students always know how to cheer me up.  Sure, I know a few outside of campus, but contact eventually fades, and after tearing apart the ties that hold me to some of my good friends, that scares me.  I want to know they will hold me in their hearts even when contact fades.  That will be enough to make me happy.

collapse by Krissi001

When I talk about depression, I imply that I am experiencing a lot of distress both physiologically and psychologically.  Trouble sleeping, lack of interest in the activities and amusements I used to enjoy such as not wanting to do the things I deliberately procrastinate on schoolwork for, becoming highly irritable and irrational at the worst of times, and having no energy reserve to do what I want... but then again, I have always been lazy.  While there is just too much to say in one journal entry, I can say that I've, in general, just been... not... feeling right.  I can't seem to pinpoint what I want in life, and when ever I sit down and make decisions, I can't, for the life of me, fulfill them.  That is why I've stopped making promises.  It hurts me knowing there's a possibility I will not fulfill said promises.  And, hell, the family issues?  The family issues are where seventy percent of my depression originates from.  My parents are ignorant, thieving, misguided, bothersome morons, and my living conditions are just getting worse healthwise.  Yeah, I know, I have a roof over my head and it could be a lot worse, but please... mom, stop yelling at me and calling me a "heartless stupid fuck" when I don't care about a picture of your friend from thirty years ago.  Don't say I'm going to die alone with no-one at my funeral.  It's bad enough as it is when I have to deal with you people every day because I can't seek refuge in the room I do not have.  And... dad... if I hadn't thrown those moldy strawberries and sponge cakes away, you would have gone to the hospital.  No.  No, you couldn't have cut around the mold.  It's a fucking strawberry.

All of these feelings are more than likely normal and usual for someone my age, and I can accept that, but because it's happening to me, it is significant to me, and that is why I am making it a big deal.  :lol:

...I need time off.




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Danielle Reed
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
~ Maruki Konkuro
Proud Founder of Kelacao
Proud Former Co-Founder of WriteRoomies

If you're interested in both Role Playing and Literature, join Kelacao.

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:icondoveangel8:
DoveAngel8 Featured By Owner Edited 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the point you may chose a Christmas theme fox from my adopts gallery if you want.
just comment the keyword "WRITER" to claim
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:iconamuna:
amuna Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Professional General Artist
thank you for the llama
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:iconreinbeaver:
reinbeaver Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank you for the llama :)
Giving one to you too! ^^
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:iconquatrzfeather:
QuatrzFeather Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the badge... 
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:icontalesofwonders:
TalesOfWonders Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student Interface Designer
Thank you four da Llamas!
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:iconhaydswillfool:
HaydsWillFool Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the llama
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:iconhalosmadeofsummer:
HalosMadeOfSummer Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student General Artist
Thanks for hte llama :)
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Theloneshadowbat Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama.
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:iconmlolcherry:
mlolcherry Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama Llama Emoji 33 (Down or Depressed) [V2] 
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:iconivkam:
IvkaM Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for adding to collection. Appreciate it! HugI'm happy that you like it La la la la
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